Written by Shay Gabriel, Mother // Images by Annica Quakenbush of Sprout & Blossom

pre-labor

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 14

11:15am Chiropractor appointment

I had a couple really strong contractions during my chiropractor visit. My chiropractor said it wouldn't be the first time someone has gone into labor on the table! It was work to get up. She asked if I'd like someone to drive me home, but I decided to walk around the building and poke my head in the midwifery office right next door. None of the midwives were there, so I decided to just keep walking and see what happened. I drove myself home, and I didn't really have any contractions at all the rest of the day.

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 15

My due date! I knew Laila's arrival would be much more flexible than any given date, but I held onto her due date in an extra special kind of way throughout all of my pregnancy; November 15 was the date of my beloved Grandpa's passing, and I loved the thought of him ushering my baby from his realm to mine. But as the day went on, I really didn't think labor was going to set in on Laila's due date. I began thinking I should pick out a new "due date" to help get through the sludge of waiting (I waited 9 days past 40 weeks with Evie!)

5pm Midwifery appointment

We had our 40 week appointment at the midwifery office. As we left, Jen told my toddler Evie, "I'll see you at your house soon! Maybe even tonight!" I remember thinking nahhh, it'll probably be awhile longer.

early labor

6:15pm Matt and Evie dropped me off at Noodle Pig to meet my friend Allie for ramen and boba, and I had a strong contraction as I was walking up to greet her near the front door.

I had some contractions during dinner that were kinda strong and close together. Allie asked a few different times if we should leave, but I wasn't convinced yet that things were progressing. (I had had contractions like this in the weeks leading up to Evie's birth, so I was really trying to be patient!) Allie and I left Noodle Pig and caught up more in her car in front of my house. I had maybe one or two contractions the whole hour we were in the car, so I thought things had petered out and figured it was just pre-labor prep.

9:00pm I went inside and told Matt about the contractions I had had at dinner and how they had fizzled out. As I was telling him, I had another contraction. I thought I should try to go to bed early in case I'd go into active labor in the days ahead.

9:56pm As I was getting ready for bed, I had some more contractions. I decided to take a warm bath to see if things would slow down. I really wanted to get some rest in case things got going soon! (My frame of reference was a 62-hour labor, so energy conservation was at the forefront of my mind.)

11:02pm I only had one contraction in the bath, so I decided to try to get into bed and sleep. I texted my birth team, "I miiiiight be in labor...I miiiiight be in denial..."

11:37pm Got into bed. I had a contraction in bed and didn't feel comfortable lying down, so I got right back up. I decided to get into the bath again. I wasn't really having contractions again in the bathtub. But as I was about to get out of the bath, I had a really big contraction that made me want to stand up fast, and I was vocalizing through it. I asked Matt to inflate the birth pool in the living room, just in case. But I still wasn't really convinced that I was in active labor. (Spoiler alert: I was!)

active labor

11:58pm Suddenly, contractions were ramping up and difficult to talk through, and I was shaky. Things were definitely progressing! I decided I wanted Annica Quakenbush (birth photographer/doula of Sprout & Blossom Birth) to come over.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 16

12:40am Annica arrived, and I was pacing through contractions. I was dry heaving off and on, and I said, "It's way too soon for this, no way am I in transition yet." I felt very present and was chatty between contractions.

Annica suggested Matt ask the midwives to come. He texted them.

I decided to try laboring seated on the yoga ball and had a couple contractions there. I almost threw up on the nearby printer! I asked Evie if we should have a dance party in the dining room, but things were getting intense pretty quickly, and I decided to try the birth sling instead.

I swayed with the sling around my belly for a couple contractions and Matt started my hypnobirthing app. I scoffed and decided I didn't want my hypnobirthing tracks at all — I felt totally lucid and like I needed stamina for how intense things were getting so quickly. So I put on my "upbeat" labor playlist instead. The birth sling gave me great relief through one very strong contraction, but during the next I bailed and decided I wanted to get into the birth pool.

1:10am Jen Holshoe (primary midwife, West Michigan Midwifery) arrived.

1:20am I got in the birth pool, and Evie joined me. Things became more intense and I wanted some space; anytime Evie touched me during contractions it felt really uncomfortable. So someone invited Evie to open a labor present (activities I prepared for her to open as distractions during labor). I was still throwing up/dry heaving with contractions.

1:40am Anna Stowie (midwife) arrived.

I instinctively shifted positions as it felt right. Moved from sitting loosely cross-legged to one leg out. I moved to hands and knees, then with knees angled in and ankles out.

2:06am Emily Retzlaff (student midwife) arrived.

I said, "This is way too intense way too soon. You guys are probably going to have to take me to the hospital." I was truly in denial that things could be progressing so quickly — it felt like no time at all! (In my labor with Evie, it had taken days to get to that point. This had only been a couple hours of active labor!)

Annica put on my labor anthem: "Highwomen" by The Highwomen. I tried to focus on humming along and relaxing my body through contractions.

“For my children I did what I had to do”

— Lyrics from "Highwomen" by The Highwomen

2:09am I moved to the edge of the pool and my vocalizations suddenly became really low. I remember thinking, "I feel like I'm faking it! That was so sudden, my body can't be pushing already!" I visualized my body opening and Laila moving down and out.

2:17am I reached down and said, "I think I feel her head!" I asked Jen to check, and she confirmed that Laila was crowning! Only then did I believe how quickly labor was going this time around. I was so relieved, excited, and thankful!

2:20am My water spontaneously broke.

I felt the ring of fire. I told Laila, "You have to come out now, you can do it!" Then I wasn't getting those nice breaks between contractions anymore, and I was losing focus.

Emily reminded me to breathe, and it was incredible the difference it made when I simply focused on breathing during those intense pushes. I felt immediate relief when I'd shift from tensing up to breathing down! I centered again and thought, "These contractions aren't happening to me, they ARE me! Let it flow, Shay, ride the waves..." Whenever my breathing turned to high pitched vocalizations, I remembered to channel that power down and out with low waves instead. My baby was coming!

Everyone was right where I needed them... Jen applied counterpressure, Matt held Evie as they watched and waited, and Evie cheered me on from the sofa: "You're doing great, Shay."

birth

2:43am Laila Kay was born!!!

Laila's head and body came out milliseconds apart — it felt like she launched out of me like a rocketship! The relief was instant. Jen scooped Laila up out of the water and put her against my chest.

My first words upon her birth: "Oh, Laila!" (I hadn't remembered this but watched it happen in my birth film. It was just like my reaction upon greeting Evie!) Evie and Matt were elated! They huddled around the pool to get a closer look at Laila. Evie said, "She has such cute little ears!" and, "Does she have a butt? Can I see it?"

Laila cleared out her lungs with a strong cry and quickly found solace against my chest, where she rooted to feed in no time. Evie asked if she could see Laila's toes, and I invited her back into the pool with us. Laila nursed on both sides. Everything was perfect.

the birth of the placenta

We all continued reveling in Laila's arrival while awaiting the birth of the placenta. Some time had passed and Jen asked if I was feeling pushy. I told her it felt kind of wrong. We decided to have me get up with Laila and move to the sofa. The placenta still wasn't coming out on its own so we decided to check on it.

The placenta started to come out in fragments, and I was hemorrhaging. (Things started to become blurry in my mind, and these recollections might be out of order.) I had a shot of pitocin. Still just fragments. Another shot of pitocin. Jen checked the placenta and was concerned that some of it seemed to be attached to me still. She was concerned about the cervix closing with some of the placenta still inside because this can cause more hemorrhaging. We discussed my options and decided that I should transfer to the hospital.

I wanted to go to the hospital a few blocks away by car, but when I stood up with assistance, I was incredibly dizzy and couldn't stand or walk. So we called an ambulance instead. By this time Evie had fallen asleep on the sofa. I was so thankful!

I decided that I wanted Matt to stay home with both of the girls (and to have his mom come be with them) and for Jen and Annica to meet me at the hospital. I didn't feel afraid in the moment, but I was very disappointed about having to go to the hospital. I kept saying, "This is so stupid."

Paramedics arrived, calmly and casually. They loaded me up onto the stretcher, then out through our back door to the ambulance. I caught a glance at Evie and she was still sound asleep.

On my way out the door on the stretcher, I looked up at the night sky, right up at the moon, and it hit me — Laila was born as her name suggests: in the dark night. I smiled and thought to myself, "No matter what happens, my babies are safe. We did it, Laila!" As disappointed as I was to have a medical emergency, I was so relieved that this time it was me, and not my newborn. I had a feeling that everything would be okay.

As emergent as the situation was, the trip from my house to the hospital a few blocks away felt very slow and very calm. (Probably a little too calm, honestly...in hindsight, the paramedics didn't seem to grasp how dire the situation could become, nor did they get moving as urgently as my midwife had suggested. We sat in the ambulance in the alleyway filling out paperwork!) I spent much of that time questioning whether this was all a dream or real life. How was my baby here already? Her birth was so fast!

When I finally got settled into a hospital room, the doctor talked me through my options. I could opt for a manual removal of the placenta while conscious (ideally a faster process), or I could undergo a D&C on anesthesia (a longer hospital stay). I asked about risks and benefits of each, as well as how likely it was that we could actually retrieve all of the placenta manually and avoid being sent into surgery anyway.

Jen and Annica arrived sometime during all of this. I became emotional once they arrived, and I told them I wished everyone could have a Jen and Annica on their birth team. (They had also come with me to the hospital during my labor with Evie, when my planned homebirth turned into an exhausted hospital transfer after days of labor.) I felt very aware that I was lucky to have access to modern medicine and to be receiving the care I really needed. I was so thankful for Jen's wisdom and action!

Upon ultrasound, the doctor was pretty confident we could get the rest of the placenta out manually, so I opted for that in hopes of getting home to my newborn sooner. While waiting for labs, however, I felt a gush and said so out loud. I knew things took a turn when the doctor started yelling for O- blood. I was hemorrhaging again, and I needed an emergency blood transfusion.

The rest of the placenta was retrieved manually, which sucked, but after everything I'd been through with Evie's birth, I knew I could do it. I was once again grateful for all of my past hypnobirthing practice and relaxed my body as much as I could while vocalizing.

Both the manual removal and the blood transfusion went smoothly (thank you blood and plasma donors!!!). But I needed to be monitored longer. I chose to send the placenta to pathology, and we would eventually learn that there was evidence of a placenta acreta, despite no prior uterine surgical procedures. My hunch was that Laila's placenta had implanted near Evie's implantation site.

In the midst of all of that, Annica and Jen were my anchors — just as they were when I transferred to the hospital during my first homebirth! There we all were again, in unideal and unforeseeable circumstances — but I was surrounded by the support and medical care that I needed in order to feel safe and to BE safe, and it meant (still means!) everything. Jen and Annica were updating Matt and even secured breastmilk for Laila from another midwife who had a stash of her own available.

Meanwhile, Matt was home with the girls and their Grandma, and the other midwives cleaned everything up and completed Laila's newborn exam. I received word via text from the midwives at my house to Jen in the hospital: Laila was in beautiful health, and she weighed in at 8lb 13oz, measured 21 inches long. My big squishy baby!

Approx 7:00am I gave Jen and Annica my blessing to leave and called on Allie to spend the day with me in recovery while she worked remotely. She brought me my postpartum craving: a Chick-fil-A chicken and biscuit with honey. And we both were in awe of how little time had passed since she had treated me to dinner the night before. How did a whole new human show up, just like that, in between meals!?

While in the hospital, I was cautioned that my milk might struggle to come in due to my blood loss. One nurse told me, "Your body is going to prioritize itself right now." I was concerned, though I thought that was kind of a paradox, since I was likely in this situation because my body "prioritized" my baby when the placenta implanted too deeply into my uterus. (Thankfully, my milk would come in the very next day! Sweet relief.)

together at last

Around 6:30pm After about 14 hours away from home, I was finally headed back. Matt came to the car to help me walk inside in case I was woozy — a feeling I would come to be very familiar with in the many weeks that followed.

When I entered our house, I saw Evie first and burst into tears of relief. I was home to my babies! I scooped up my sweet little Laila and soaked in every inch of her squishy little body against my skin as she nursed to her heart's content.

Together at last, as a family of four.