First Baby List, Second Baby List | A Comparison, and a Confession: We didn’t use half of the stuff we thought we would
Written by Shay Gabriel // Photography by Annica Quakenbush
Disclaimer: I have included affiliate links throughout this blog in order to make a small earning by recommending my tried and true products to you. I only link items I have tried (or the most similar model currently available)! You’ll see that I’ve preferred some items over others for our family’s unique lifestyle — I share openly throughout this post about what I loved and what we never really used.
Photo by Sprout & Blossom’s Annica Quakenbush
first baby list, second baby list
A Comparison, and a confession: we didn’t use half of the stuff we thought we would
“Sooo…what do we actually need for baby?” If you’ve asked yourself this question, you are certainly not alone. In fact, I’m not sure a single parent-to-be gets through the list-and-gather process without a bit of overwhelm or confusion. The world BOMBARDS us with all kinds of baby gear! Friends swear by their favorite swing…others by the most expensive brand of drool bibs…and Instagram advertisements know allllll too well that you have a baby on the way (those targeted ads — dang do they know what’s on our minds!).
As I prepare to welcome Baby #2 into our home, I find myself frequently reflecting back on this baby-prep phase of pregnancy with my firstborn, Evie. While the nesting urge has been strong in both pregnancies, there's something fundamentally different this second time around: gathering supplies for baby is now much more rooted in experience, rather than a complete lack thereof.
With Evie, everything we gathered was based almost entirely on speculation. So and so recommends this product…such and such thing appears on every list I've read on online…the evidence says blah blah blah…and let me tell you, while I thoroughly enjoyed gathering items and setting up our home in preparation for our first baby, the choice overload was REAL. Did I really need 179 big-ticket baby items in order to best support my daughter? My gut said probably not…but which items would we actually need? That felt like a guessing game.
Well, as it turns out, a lot of it was entirely up to baby, totally TBD. Because here's the thing: as with birth, you can only prepare so much. You cannot predict what your intuition may be in the moment, and you cannot dictate your baby's preferences. You're better off approaching parenthood with a palms up, here I am, ready to "meet you as you are" mentality.
Buuuuuut I want everything right there and ready to go as needed! I know, I know…me too. And that’s much harder the first time around. Sifting through the noise of marketing and advice while trying to prepare for baby can be a tricky balancing act as a first-time parent, and I found myself trying to minimize the number of products we invested in while maximizing multi-purpose. I didn’t want to overdo it, but I didn’t want to underdo it either.
With all of that in mind, I thought it might be fun (for me) and perhaps insightful (for you) for me to share my reflections on the following:
what I gathered in anticipation of my firstborn,
what we actually used, what we added to our collection, and what we never used at all,
and how this is impacting our preparation for Baby #2
Photo by Sprout & Blossom’s Annica Quakenbush
And so with that, I give you:
the gist of our first baby list
What I gathered in anticipation of my firstborn:
Okay, so here’s the rundown of what we gathered for baby — but stay tuned, because much of this proved (often surprisingly) useless! And there are some items we later discovered, purchased, and used consistently.
Feeding
I intended to breastfeed and also anticipated occasional pumping and bottle-feeding. So here’s what we got:
*Be sure to check with your insurance company to see what your plan covers! This model is similar to what was covered for me when I was pregnant with Evie.
Pumping bra
If you can’t get your hands on Sprout & Blossom’s “Nip & Lip Balm”, try this similar product from Earth Mama
Elimination
We prepared to practice elimination communication and cloth diapering. We also wanted some disposable diapers on hand to help us through the learning curves and exhaustion of those early days (and nights).
Cloth diapers
Wet/dry bags
Sleep-Related Items
We anticipated baby sleeping in a bassinet in our bedroom, eventually followed by a crib in our bedroom. Spoiler alert — those plans changed very quickly! But here’s what we thought we’d need and therefore gathered:
Crib
Bassinet
Humidifier
Wake-Related & Travel Items
We envisioned lots of skin-to-skin snuggles and tummy time on the floor to support and enhance baby’s development. We also planned to avoid pacifiers, for a few different reasons (namely: avoiding interference with breastfeeding and milk production; avoiding dependence on a pacifier; consideration of mouth and language development) — though we had some on hand from various gift bags. And I pictured baby in a car seat, stroller, or carrier while out and about.
Baby clothes
Baby mittens (the kind to avoid scratching)
Swaddling blankets
Pacifiers
Drool bibs
Bathing & Hygiene
This stuff actually seemed pretty straightforward. I tried to minimize the products we would use and found myself straying away from the typical baby-scented items. Instead I searched for products that could multi-task and would be fragrance-free and family-friendly, for the long haul. I also planned to familiarize baby with sensory objects from an early age (e.g. giving her a little toothbrush to play with and chew on so that we could eventually transition to adding paste once her teeth came in).
3 hooded baby towels
Baby washcloths
Baby toothbrush
Baby comb and hairbrush
Baby nail clippers
Bulb syringe for boogies
what we actually used—what we added to our collection—and what we never used at all
Feeding
I intended to breastfeed and also anticipated occasional pumping and bottle-feeding. In actuality, my baby didn’t ever want to take a bottle, with the exception of maybe one or two times I was out of the house alone — which didn’t happen at all in the fourth trimester, and was still very rare thereafter considering I work from home. In general, we spent so much more time together than ever anticipated, due to the pandemic striking a few weeks after birth. So consistently feeding at the breast was what made the most sense for us, even well beyond introducing solid foods. That said, anything related to bottle-feeding became unnecessary for our family.
What we actually used:
I stored some pumped milk as backup for awhile, just in case
Pumping bra
Made pumping SO much easier!
Nipple butter
I swear by nipple butter! Get something safe for baby to suckle so you don’t have to wipe your nipples clean before feedings (because that’s counter-intuitive, amiright!?) This stuff is the best because it’s directly from Sprout & Blossom. Otherwise, try this!
I used them for breast leaks far more than for spit-up! And they soaked up my leaks much better than breast pads, especially in bed overnight.
What we added to our collection:
Or else I’d have filled a massive dump with waste from all the times I wasn’t catching leaks…plus I could just pop them into my bra while on the go, no packaging to deal with
For the times I was catching leaks! Wow do I wish I’d had one of these from day one…it’s such a great way to save and store some milk!
I discovered the Haaka (applies suction) after the Milk Saver (simply sits in the bra collecting drips). The Haaka was nice to use once my milk supply had balanced out. The Milk Saver was probably best for me in the early days of nursing, since I already had an overactive letdown and oversupply (thanks to pumping extra milk in the beginning of my baby’s life, though she always fed at the breast — essentially I was making more than she actually needed, and it made my milk ejection reflex bonkers to deal with. I eventually nixed pumping and block fed to balance out my supply. You live and you learn — and every lactation experience is different, so be sure to have support on call!)
What we rarely used / never used at all:
Elimination
We prepared to practice elimination communication and cloth diapering. We also wanted some disposable diapers on hand to help us through the learning curves and exhaustion of those early days. The reality: we LOVE elimination communication! Not only did it lend to a very natural pottying experience (and we never had to traditionally “potty train” our toddler), but also we saved ourselves so much mess, money, and laundry by combining EC with cloth diapering. Seriously, we skipped SO MANY poopy diapers by just setting our girl over the toilet!
What we actually used:
Cloth diapers
Wet/dry bags
What we added to our collection:
Fitted cloth covers to go around the top hat potty
So that baby wouldn’t have to touch cold plastic in the chilly seasons; they come with the top hat potty purchase on Amazon now!
What we rarely used / never used at all:
Honestly, I found disposable wipes disgusting in the days before solid-foods. Those seedy breastmilk poos were already so wet, and what we really needed was something to effectively soak it all up and wipe baby dry. Flannel baby wipes did the job so well, and saved us so much money and waste! We just tossed them right into the laundry with our cloth diapers, so no extra work there.
We saw the faintest sight of a potential rash one time — from a disposable diaper. We attribute lack of diaper rash to EC plus cloth diapering (and avoiding growing accustomed to sitting in soaked garments)
Sleep-Related Items
We anticipated baby sleeping in a bassinet in our bedroom, eventually followed by a crib in our bedroom. Spoiler alert — those plans changed very quickly! In actuality, we bedshared/breasteslept! From the get-go, my intuition told me to keep my baby close. I quickly learned how to bedshare safely at the breast, that our closeness fulfilled more of my baby’s developmental needs, and that for us, the best sleep came with quickly and lightly rousin, latching to nurse, and staying asleep. Disclaimer: Safely bedsharing is a very important topic that faces a lot of stigma in Western culture. It’s essential to be informed and to make safe decisions that suit your unique family’s circumstances. Learn more about bedsharing here!
What we actually used:
Humidifier
Yep, that’s it. Our baby was born in Michigan February, which is typically a pretty dry time of year, so we kept a humidifier by our bedside for awhile.
What we rarely used / never used at all:
Crib
Glad we got a cheap one that doubles as a toddler bed! We’ve only ever used it as a toddler bed. As a baby, Evie slept in the crib a total of ZERO times. Until then, it made for an occasional place to set baby down while milling about the bedroom. In reality, though, it was mainly used for laundry! hahaha
Bassinet
While we did use the bassinet for occasional naps in the first four months of Evie’s life, we certainly did not use it as much as we’d expected.
Contact napping by day and bedsharing by night meant we very, very rarely ever used the two-camera monitor system we’d invested in. It wasn’t until Evie was several months old that I would occasionally duck out of the room and began to (somewhat anxiously) gaze at the monitor so I could potentially catch her rousing, pop a boob in, and soothe her back down without her fully waking.
Wake-Related & Travel Items
We envisioned lots of skin-to-skin snuggles and tummy time on the floor to support and enhance baby’s development. We also planned to avoid pacifiers, for a few different reasons — though we had some on hand from various gift bags. I pictured baby in a car seat, stroller, or carrier while out and about. Reality: All of the above rang true for us. However, baby-wearing, it turns out, was essential inside the home even more than outside!
What we actually used:
Baby clothes
What we added to our collection:
Easier to throw on than an ergo carrier, and made for a lighter load and closer cuddle while getting things done around the house. It also proved very useful on the go, as Evie tended to feel safer and more soothed while nestled up to Momma in the ring sling. I also like that it offers a more natural, baby-body-friendly hip hold than the ergo. I love my Wildbird sling! But the ergo was great for helping me through tougher treks, such as hiking the stairs to the top of a Michigan dune!
What we rarely used / never used at all:
Baby mittens
It occurred to me pretty quickly that my daughter loved to have her hands by her face — and that she always had in utero, too! As it turned out, she never even scratched herself badly. And we avoided restricting her development by overusing those cute little mitts we originally fell prey to!
Swaddling blankets
Evie haaaaated swaddling — she wanted full autonomy over her body’s movements. And, I quickly learned why swaddles are in fact not recommended by experts in the field of biologically natural infant development, despite being so commonly practiced here in the States. There are also some safety concerns with swaddling — crib-sleeping and bed-sharing included. Bottom line: make your own informed choices!
Pacifiers
I tried once out of pure desperation to give Evie a pacifier. She rejected it immediately, and it turns out it wasn’t going to fix the underlying issue anyway: gas pains from an overactive milk letdown.
Oh the horror of being set down in the baby swing! We tried a few times here and there, just to have a “soothing” place to set Evie down while tackling a task (or peeing in peace for once) — but nope, she wasn’t having it. 0/10 Evie wouldn’t recommend. Hard pass.
Drool bibs
Evie was never a drooler, even while teething. But you just can’t predict that in advance!
Bathing & Hygiene
This stuff actually seemed pretty straightforward. I tried to minimize the products we would use and found myself straying away from the typical baby-scented items. Instead I searched for products that could multi-task and would be fragrance-free and family-friendly, for the long haul. I planned to familiarize baby with sensory objects from an early age (e.g. giving her a little toothbrush to play with and chew on so that we could eventually transition to adding paste once her teeth came in).
Yeah, this was the easiest of all the baby stuff to navigate! But I’ll add — we only bathed baby a couple times a week in the beginning. We were careful not to overdo it. And often, the baby bath wasn’t in use, because it turns out: taking a bath with baby, and eventually showering with baby, too, proved more efficient for us! Also, adult towels and wash cloths would do just fine — but I did like those little hooded baby towels when Evie was still teeny tiny.
What we actually used:
3 hooded baby towels
Baby washcloths
Baby toothbrush
Baby comb and hairbrush
Baby nail clippers
Bulb syringe for boogies
Funny note on this one — while snot was rarely an issue for Evie (read: pandemic baby with very little exposure to any sicknesses during her 30 months of breastfeeding), whenever we would pull out the bulb syringe, she wanted to use it all by herself! We taught her how to squeeze, insert, and let it go, and she would just laugh and laugh while doing so all on her own!
Photo by Sprout & Blossom’s Annica Quakenbush
preparation for baby #2
While reflecting on our experience with Evie and gathering items for baby #2, one thing’s for sure: we have just about everything we need already! There are very few items we’ve felt the need to gather new (namely, some disposable diapers to help us out in those early newborn days, especially if baby won’t fit into her newborn cloth diapers quite yet).
With all of the above in mind, here’s the list of what we actually have on hand — note that it includes some items we rarely or never used with Evie, but we anticipate could be useful with our new baby (whether that’s simply because her temperaments and preferences are different, or because some items prove handier while juggling two kiddos…)
So with that, I give you:
our second baby list
Feeding
I intend to breastfeed again, but I anticipate that we might find it helpful for me to pump and have bottle-feeding by my husband as an option this time around.
Medical grade Breast pump & Freemie hands-free pump
I still have my original pump; I have a hands-free version on the way this time, for ease of use in my bra while handling two babies.
Pumping bra
Just a few slow-flow, paced-feeding bottles
If we find that bottle feeding in addition to nursing at the breast suits us better this time, we’ll investigate which bottles our baby likes.
I don’t actually find a bottle warmer all that necessary when we could just set a bottle into some preheated water, but since we already have the electric bottle warmer, we’ll be able to use it as desired!
Elimination
We’re planning on practicing elimination communication again! I actually think it might be even easier this time, since Evie is already pottying herself and we’re used to having been out of the diapering phase for awhile already.
Some disposable diapers as backup
Preemie and little newborn sizes ready and waiting, in case baby girl’s legs don’t yet fit her newborn cloth diapers
Top hat baby potty with fitted cloth covers to go around the potty
Cloth diapers
Wet/dry bags
Just in case!
Sleep-Related Items
I intend to breastsleep with our second baby, just as I did with our first.
Bassinet
We still have a bassinet on hand that I imagine will come in much more useful for naps and the beginning of bedtime now that we have a toddler to care for as well — but I realize it will all depend on baby’s preferences, and there just might be a loooot of baby-wearing instead! Ready to roll with it, ensuring that we follow the Safe Sleep 7, of course.
I think we’ll get more mileage out of the monitor this time, especially if baby is content to nap alone and I’m milling about the house with my toddler. (I’m sensing far fewer contact naps in bed this time around…what a treat to have regularly had that opportunity with Evie!)
Humidifier
Baby’s due in November, so we’ll likely run the humidifier near the bed again for overnights. Or maybe we’ll nix that now that we have a humidifier built into our furnace system (which we can adjust to suit baby throughout our dry Michigan winter)
Wake-Related & Travel Items
I’m anticipating that this will look much the same our second go-around. I’m prepared for lots of baby-wearing!
Baby clothes
This is the one “big-ticket” item we’ve added to our collection in preparation for two kiddos.
Will she hate it like big sister? Will it prove useful for briefly freeing my body of a baby from time to time?
Drool bibs
We still have these on hand, entirely unused — maybe this baby will drool, time will tell! (If we didn’t already have some, I wouldn’t bother getting any unless we eventually found it to be necessary)
Bathing & Hygiene
Same ol, same ol…
3 hooded baby towels
Baby washcloths
Baby toothbrush
Baby comb and hairbrush
Baby nail clippers
Bulb syringe for boogies
so, what’s new?
Because we held on to everything we used (or didn’t use…) with Evie, we have pretty much everything we need on hand already for Baby #2! For anything we wanted to add to our collection, needed to buy new, or needed to replenish, we created a baby registry. Pro tip: registries are wise to create regardless of whether this is your first baby or fifth, and whether you anticipate any showers or gifts or not. That’s because when you create a registry, it’s an easy way for you to manage your list of needs and nice-to-haves, and it will typically come along with goodie bags and discount codes for purchasing whatever is left on the list!
Consider things that are nice to have for both kids, including books and simple toys. Make sure to add your preferred items for sickness, too.
And here’s all we needed to buy new for Baby #2:
I’m excluding anything from this list that we already regularly purchase for the family (e.g. bath wash and lotion that both babies will use)
Check with your insurance company to see what’s covered by your plan!
A fresh baby toothbrush
And then onward and upward to the toddler bamboos we use with Evie
Generously gifted to our family! A great option for adventures with two littles — and I particularly love that there’s the option to set the carseat into ours. (Heads up, I haven’t actually used this product with both kids yet since I’m still preggo with #2, but so far I love what it offers!)
that’s it!
Baby #2, we’re ready for you!
Photo by Sprout & Blossom’s Annica Quakenbush
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Did anything surprise you about what you’d prepared for babe compared with what you actually found useful? Tell us about it in the comments, or connect with us on social!
Photo by Sprout & Blossom’s Annica Quakenbush
Shay Gabriel is the content director at Sprout and Blossom whose love of parenthood and psychology has merged into a super-obsession of all things birthy and baby. She believes an informed experience lends to an empowered experience, no matter where you are along the journey.
Shay was 38 weeks pregnant with her second baby girl at the time of publishing this blog post! Her family is so excited to welcome a new little one with the support of their birth team, including the incredible women right here at Sprout & Blossom Birth.
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As we talked through our experiences with our first birth and our anticipations for our second, one thing became clear: having a quick-guide on the fridge to reference these reminders would be very helpful for us! It would help me:
reflect more comprehensively on my labor wishes (writing things out is a great way to prepare!),
trust that my partner will recollect what I’ve asked for (because he can take a quick look at the sheet on the fridge anytime!),
and give me permission to drift off to labor land when the time comes (peace out, mental load! Time to turn off my thinking brain!).