Our king bed (headboard found for $40 on FB marketplace) and mini-crib set up. Photo from our cord burning ceremony after Rubin’s birth by the wonderful Brooke Collier.

By: Annica Quakenbush

Clients and friends ask me frequently about my family’s setup for bedsharing. I did a ridiculous amount of research before my first baby was born trying to figure out what would work best for our family, our baby, and our sleep. I was convicted by Dr. James McKenna’s research on bedsharing, breastsleeping, and co-sleeping and how it can actually be safer than a baby being in a crib alone. I felt in my gut already while pregnant that I wanted my baby close, and all this amazing research supported my instinct. The Safe Sleep Seven is a concise, helpful resource/guide that every parent should know about. If you are a reader, and want more in-depth information, I highly recommend grabbing a copy of Sweet Sleep by La Leche League.

The summary (I like summaries, ha) from the The Safe Sleep Seven page on the La Leche League website:

“THE KEY POINTS FOR SAFE SLEEP FOR ALL BABIES

Stay smoke-free. Stay sober. Stay off sofas, upholstered chairs, and recliners for sleep. Keep your healthy baby lightly dressed, on [their] back, and near you for sleep. And, of course, keep breastfeeding.

But what about all the warnings against bedsharing? If you meet the criteria outlined in the Safe Sleep Seven, then you’re not the [parent] the warnings are for! Only a small subset of babies with certain preexisting vulnerabilities are at risk for SIDS.”

that’s some freaking good news!

I was sold on the idea of bedsharing while I was still pregnant. I figured we would try it, and we could always buy/borrow a crib if we ended up feeling like we needed to pivot to a new plan. We knew quickly that the queen-sized pillowy spring mattress we had would not work for bedsharing. Not only because we had created nests in the spots we slept in, but also because when one of us moved, the other felt it. And let’s be real, getting older has made us big fans of a firm, supportive mattress over sleeping on a cloud.

My husband and I decided we needed to adjust our set-up in our bedroom for bedsharing. We also figured that even if we didn’t end up bedsharing or didn’t bedshare consistently, our child at some stage of their life would sometimes come into bed with us, and we were all about having enough space for that.

So, it was decided: we needed a king!

Let me just say too, our bedroom is not big. There is not a lot of room for much more than a king sized bed. But that has been just fine. A bedroom is for sleeping. And we sleep a million times better with our king bed. There is room for both adults, and there is room for a newborn to have their own space either between us or on a side.

We are also big fans of FOAM ONLY mattresses. I would have laughed right in your face ten years ago if you told me I’d be happily sleeping on a 5-6” foam mattress. BUT, it’s amazing. When we lived in the Philippines, we really had no other options (spring mattresses mold in the tropics, it turns out), and I fell in LOVE with our foam mattress. When one partner moves, the other doesn’t know it. It’s muchhhh easier to move up and down stairs, and you can freaking order it on Amazon. I’m all about it.

So, if you are starting from nothing, here is what I’d recommend based on personal experience. If you purchase using these links, I’ll get a small commission at no extra cost to you (thank you!).

king bedsharing set-up

King Foam Mattress $186.57

6” is honestly all that is necessary. It’s comfy, supportive, not too hot, and less inches = less waste when you need a new one. Ours is going on 4 years old and has not shown any signs of wear. Also, so affordable!

Mattress Protector $19.99 and Cheapest Soft Sheets! $23.99

This mattress protector is great - it’s not plastic-y at all, and breathes. But also if your water breaks, or you birth at home, or when your babe spits up or pees in your bed, your mattress is protected! I usually go for 100% organic cotton or linen sheets - but those are not cheap. If you need something that gets the job done that is comfy and cheap, hit the thrift store or try the super soft sheets linked above. They are GREAT.

King Platform Bed $135.52

Last but not least, if you don’t have a king frame and/or box spring and don’t want to put your mattress on the floor (which you totally can do if you want), this bed frame is inexpensive, sturdy, and has plenty of room for storage underneath. You can add ply-wood over the slats, but don’t have to.

This “ready to bedshare king bed” setup is $390.06 for everything listed above!

an alternate option: a mini crib

Here is another way to get the benefits of bedsharing without compromising the space you and your partner (or older child, or both in our case) have to sleep in. Add a side car mini-crib! We didn’t have enough space to add a full sized crib to our room in addition to our bed, so we opted for a mini-crib. You could easily do this with a full-sized crib too. The KEY is to buy a crib where the fourth side is removable without changing the integrity/safety of the crib. The mini crib goes right next to the big bed, with no rail between the two mattresses. You make sure there is no gapping, and that the heights of the mattresses are the same and voila! Extended bedsharing space. Our set-up is spacious enough for our baby, my hubs, and me…and our toddler whenever she ends up in bed with us. Rubin is 6 months old at the moment, and nowhere near outgrowing the mini crib. Even when he gets too tall, I think I’ll angle his feet toward me so that they are on our bed and it’ll work as long as we need it to.

(If you don’t have room for or don’t want to get a king bed, you could also replace your soft queen spring mattress with this one and then add a mini-crib. Ya got OPTIONS. —> Queen Foam Mattress)

This is the mini-crib, mini-crib mattress, and linens we bought/use and love:

Mini Crib $129.00

Again, the key is that the fourth side does not need to be installed. We have it sitting in our basement for when we pass the crib on to someone else eventually. On the lowest setting (with the mattress below), the crib sits perfectly level with our bed. The crib comes with a little mattress but its pathetic and honestly kinda like a pack and play mattress. I also don’t trust the quality of it for my babe.

Organic Mini Crib Mattress $129.00

This mattress is 5” and has a firmer side (when baby is newborn) and a softer side (when baby is older). Our babe loves it.

Extra Mini Crib Mattress Protector $39.99 and Mini Crib Sheets $10.97

The mattress extra mattress protector and having two sheets is great for, you know, the baby fluids. :)

Total, you’ll spend $308.96 to add this set-up to your bed. And you can roll over, stick your boob into the crib, snuggle your baby, and go right back to sleep. It’s also nice to have a three-sided spot for naps if your baby is into that kind of thing (our first was not, this baby is!).

For BOTH the bed setup and the mini-crib setup, the total is $699.02. Can I get a WOW!? Most people pay at least that much for just a new mattress…

King

King Foam Mattress $186.57

Mattress Protector $19.99

Cheapest Soft Sheets! $23.99

King Platform Bed $135.52

Total for King Bed Setup = $390.06

Mini Crib $129.00

Organic Mini Crib Mattress $129.00

Extra Mini Crib Mattress Protector $39.99

Mini Crib Sheets $10.97

Total for Mini Crib Setup = $308.96

Grand (and super comfy) Total = $699.02

let the sweet sleep and all the snuggles commence

Learn More about Bedsharing

Annica is the doula and birth photographer behind Sprout and Blossom. She has been bedsharing since 2017, starting on the day her first baby was born at home.