Embracing PRIDE in the Perinatal Space
Written by Shay Gabriel
Pride matters to us here at Sprout & Blossom, in pride month and beyond; we love, honor, and support folks all across the spectrums of sex, gender, and sexuality. To that end, we want to highlight the importance of pride in the perinatal spaces, and what we wish to see more of from birth workers and birth spaces in our community — not just during the month of June, but always.
So what does pride in the birth space look like? Perhaps it all comes down to this: acceptance, understanding, consideration, and safety. When we accept the reality that sex, gender, and sexuality are spectrums, it impacts our understanding of language and the way we use it; when we mindfully consider the importance of honoring human beings all across each of these spectrums, we foster spaces for individuals and groups to feel seen, heard, valued, and safe.
This all matters so much in birth spaces – a setting that can be so intimate and vulnerable – a space that we wish to honor as incredibly sacred and transformative. We believe that everyone deserves an empowered, positive birth experience. We invite anyone and everyone to join us in honoring that. Here are some considerations for how to put this philosophy into action.
mindful language
Mindfully considering and applying inclusive language for birthy terms matters.
Using inclusive language erases no one and seeks to recognize everyone.
As so beautifully expressed by Rainbow Families,
Inclusive language is a way of acknowledging and respecting the diversity of peoples’ bodies, genders and relationships.
“Inclusive language is so important for LGBTQ+ people, particularly during pregnancy and birth. We often feel invisible or overlooked and that’s not good for parents or babies. Getting language right can make such a difference for a family expecting a baby and can set them up with a positive start to their parenting journey [Rainbow Families parent]”
Inclusive language includes and is not limited to:
using inclusive umbrella terms to refer to a non-specific individual/when addressing a broader group (e.g. birthing person, pregnant person, birther, lactating person)
using “they/them” pronouns (rather than “he/him or she/her”) when referring to a singular person whose pronouns are unknown
using a specific individual’s pronouns when referring to them (e.g. she/her, they/them, he/him, all of the above, none of the above/pronouns not on this list)
acknowledgement of sex as a spectrum (male, female, intersex, transexual, etc)
acknowledgement of gender as a spectrum (man, woman, nonbinary, transgender, etc)
consideration of parental/relational terms for relationship to baby (baby’s mother, father, surrogate, birth mom, zaza, mapa, etc.)
consideration of terms for the birthing person and their relationship to their partner(s) (e.g. partner, spouse, wife, husband, expox, joyfriend, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc.)
respect for body terms
The more general and inclusive we can be when conveying meaning generally, the better — and the more specific and individualized we can be while conveying meaning specifically (to a particular individual to whom we are providing care), the better.
When it comes to using more specific language, it’s best not to assume — just ask, or follow their lead.
This language matters in all forms — verbal and written language communicates meaning, and when language is ill-fitting to an individual in the perinatal space, it can make them feel unwelcome and uncomfortable, whether they’re reading a pamphlet or being addressed by a nurse. And those of us who understand the physiology and psychology of birth recognize that how you feel throughout pregnancy, birth, and postpartum really matters. So a shift in which terms we commonly use in perinatal spaces can in fact impact birth outcomes. That's powerful!
“For individuals who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or gender-fluid, going to a healthcare appointment can be a daunting experience. At clinical practices that do not prioritize inclusive care, their experiences might be invalidated many times over—by the intake forms by health history questions and by the staff’s failure to use gender neutral pronouns…
Exclusive language in particular can be deeply painful and violating for people in this community, as it erases their experiences. To avoid further harm, some may choose to avoid healthcare altogether.
But inclusive language can be a powerful tool in validating someone’s lived experience and potentially improving their health outcomes,”
(Nursing License Map on “How to Use Inclusive Language in Healthcare”
inclusive umbrella terms
To be clear, the impact of using inclusive language extends beyond the LGBTQ+ community. It is wise to be mindful of language, through and through. Inclusive language seeks not to erase anyone within a broad group of individuals; instead, it allows us to invite more people under the umbrella whenever we address a group of unique individuals. Consider, for example, how we might refer to a non-specific individual within a broad group of "people who are pregnant." This group includes and is not limited to: Surrogates, non-binary parents, biological parents choosing adoption, transgender folks…and the list goes on. Here, inclusive terms such as "pregnant person" or "birthing person" work well as an umbrella for anyone who is pregnant or anticipating birth. More exclusive words like "mothers" wouldn't be as effective here, because mothers are only a subgroup within the umbrella of pregnant people. (But "pregnant mothers" is fitting specifically for pregnant mothers!)
consideration of body terms
This need for mindful language also includes fitting terms for body parts and functions. For example, while “breastfeeding” has been a default term to refer to feeding a baby human milk by latching onto the nipple, this term doesn’t universally suit individuals. (And sometimes people use “breastfeeding” to refer to feeding milk from the breast, regardless of how it’s transferred.)
“Lactation” and “body-feeding” are more inclusive umbrella terms than “breastfeeding.” Even if, anatomically speaking, all sexes have “breast tissue”, the term “breast” has been sexualized and gendered and holds potentially negative power; it is possible to convey the meaning more mindfully, and we would argue it’s essential. If our ultimate goal is to inspire positive perinatal outcomes and reported experiences for the well-being of parents and their children (and this should be our goal as birth workers), we must use the power of language for good.
Consider, for example, the parent who had top surgery, refers to their top as their chest, lactates, and directly feeds baby their human milk with their body. Perhaps this individual is comfortable with the term “chestfeeding.” (Remember not assume — just ask, or follow their lead.) The same might be true for a parent who has induced lactation, a parent who uses an SNS system (a tube at the nipple that pulls a parent’s expressed milk, donor human milk, or infant formula), or even suckling for comfort without milk consumption.
understanding sex as a spectrum
There will likely come a time when we don’t hear language like, “Are you having a boy or a girl?” quite so commonly. This question surrounding pregnancy is ultimately asking about the binary sex of the baby based on their external genitalia (by sonogram) or based on DNA blood test results. What this question fails to acknowledge is that sex, while typically assigned as a binary in modern society, is indeed a spectrum even on the most biological level. In fact, there are currently 40+ known intersex variations. There is still quite a gap in education surrounding this truth, particularly in cultures that strive to maintain binary systems of oppression. We must do better, and the perinatal space offers a great opportunity to educate, support, and integrate more inclusive, more accurate language around sex and gender.
Consider this overview from “The Inclusion of Sex and Gender Beyond the Binary in Toxicology”:
Assigned sex is the label given at birth by medical professionals based on an individual’s chromosomes, hormone levels, sex organs, and secondary sex characteristics. As a note, the term “biologic sex” is understood by many to be an outdated term, due to its longstanding history of being used to invalidate the authenticity of trans identities. Although sex is typically misconceptualized as a binary of male (XY) or female (XX), many other chromosomal arrangements, inherent variations in gene expression patterns, and hormone levels exist. Intersex categorizations include variations in chromosomes present, external genitalia, gonads (testes or ovaries), hormone production, hormone responsiveness, and internal reproductive organs. Medical classification of intersex individuals is not always done at birth, as many intersex traits do not become apparent until puberty or later in life.
Ultimately, it matters that we empower individuals to embrace their sense of self and how they want us to refer to them. In the perinatal space, may we embrace this practice with mindful language. And may we also empower parents of children with intersex characteristics, at whatever stage this may become apparent. Parents may encounter intersex DNA results in pregnancy, birth a baby with visibly intersex external genitalia, or discover intersex traits as their child ages. Support for parents and children is essential at any point in time, particularly in a world still in need of education and more widely embracing pride.
Examples of support for families of intersex children includes, but is not limited to:
access to counsel with a supportive DNA specialist whenever conditions are presented in pregnancy and may impact birth options (e.g. certain chromosomal conditions can impact the anatomy of the umbilical cord and may lend to consideration of early induction)
access to a qualified care provider/specialist who embraces the reality of intersex and offers full transparency and support for the family without secrecy, shame, or pressure to make potentially harmful medical or surgical decisions that are not life-threatening or necessary (e.g. no pressure to consent to “normalizing” surgery, which can cause irreversible issues and more problems in the long run)
access to complete medical information and the right to informed choice for families, including the child themself wherever possible, for any potential medical or surgical decisions
access to support groups where families can build community around relatable experiences (and feel seen, heard, and empowered!)
access to additional informational resources, such as reputable online resources and groups, such as InterConnect Support
access to counseling with a qualified therapist who embraces the reality of intersex and helps the family integrate
May we all choose to spread light & love.
sincerely, the team at
sprout & blossom birth & beyond
perinatal support
Are you a West Michigan local looking for LGBTQ+ friendly support in the perinatal space?
Connect with our team at Sprout & Blossom about birth doula support, postpartum doula support, lactation support, placenta encapsulation, pregnancy/birth/newborn/family photography, and somatic therapy using our contact form here. Our team is here to support you in this transformational time!
connect with us
What would you add to the conversation (as a birth worker, as someone who identifies as LGBTQ+, as a member of the intersex community, etc)? We would love to hear from you! What does pride in the perinatal space look like to you, in action? What do you wish your care providers or birth teams would have done differently in the past? What have they done well? To share with us, send us a DM or reach out via our contact form.